We haven't gotten the fur baby yet, but still, I have a story.
Night before last the Sexy Beast and I ran some errands in preparation for the new baby's arrival. We went to Petco, where there were not enough puppy Kongs. Nothing is better for entertaining your pup for hours on end and keeping them from chewing the wrong things than tons of Kong toys stuffed to the hilt with kibble. Ok, so Petco didn't have enough, and the Lowes in the same strip mall didn't have sod (more on this later...) so we crossed the street under that abysmal excuse for a toll road they are perpetually building in the Austin Texas metro area and went to Home Depot. We were on a mission for one (that's right ONE) piece of sod. On the way I discovered we were also on a mission for a plant for the front porch. But I digress. Ok, so we locate the sod outside the garden gates, and the Sexy Beast drops me off to rummage through the pile while she parks closer to the door. NONE of the sod looks alive. It doesn't matter really. (More on this later.)
So here comes the Sexy Beast with one of those flatbed carts. For our one piece of sod priced at $1.25 per 16x24 inch piece. We rummage some more. We find an acceptable piece, though it does look dead-ish. We put it on the 3x5 foot flatbed cart and wheel it as if it were as delicate as a patient headed from surgery to recovery. Here we go, all the way from one end of the parking lot, into the store, and all the way to the other end to the only open register.
We find three Home Depot employees and one cute 30-40 something woman and her cabana boy. Her flatbed is loaded to the hilt with mulch -- piled four feet across and four feet high. Cabana Boy is helping her schlep. We know it is not a Home Depot employee as he is not wearing the requisite orange apron...
Woman with Cabana Boy turns to our flatbed and good naturedly says, "I wish I had a yard that size."
That was funny. It also led others to question our need for one little piece of sod -- carefully transported on our 3x4 foot flatbed cart.
The Sexy Beast explained. See I read in What To Do Before And After You Have A Puppy by the now famous veterinarian Dr. Ian Dunbar, that you should provide a surface in your pup's den that is identical to the one they will be eliminating on outside. Get it? You could do sod, you could do asphalt if you lived in the city, your ex-wife's carpet, anything! In this way, your pup is precisely accustomed to the surface on which she may eliminate both inside and outside and will not only become trained to it, but, if cashing in her pee and poo for treats, will come to actually prefer it!
Now this is either a brilliant idea, or Dr Dunbar is sitting up in his office, laughing his ass off because there are thousands of people out here with pieces of sod alongside their puppy's crate...
We paid our $1.35 and rolled our flatbed out to the car. As we left, the cashier reminded us if our piece of sod didn't revive, we could bring it back. The ingenious Sexy Beast said that was a great idea. We could let our pup use one piece of sod a week and bring it back and get another one free until she was house-trained.
No way we're doing that -- but it's the thought that counts.
Look who gets to use the Home Depot sod:
This is Zeta. We get her tonight. Yippee!
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