Monday, December 29, 2008

Feelings, whoa, oh, oh... pffft

Ever have one of those days, weeks, maybe even years, where you know something is out of whack and you just can’t put your finger on it?

Ever feel you should follow your intuition no matter how crazy everyone else thinks it is?

Ever have feelings that your mind refuses to allow you to shake, even when logic tells you that no one would understand your feelings but you? (But of course, someone would…)

It’s an interesting place to be, sometimes.

I don’t mean to sound morose. Not at all. I'm not having bad feelings. Feelings are a great barometer. Well followed, strong, unabashed unashamed intuition can make one a successful psychic. At the other end, survival of the species has required us to possess and maintain healthy feelings of flight or fight, fear, pain, hunger, etc... They’re very important to growth and survival.

It’s interesting to me, how many of our feelings we overlook or brush off everyday. Feelings we were made and bred to have. Some are feelings we were taught not to verbalize – both the perceived positive and negative. I mean the intuitive thoughts and impulses about ourselves and others that occur in a nanosecond that are warning us or soothing us, lifting us or dragging us. What do we with them, how do we be appropriate with them – everything from love to rancor? How do we use them fully, without them using us? How do we validate them and use them as the finest of tools? And how do we love them all?

I’m just saying…

Oh, and don’t worry. My intuition is not telling me anything about the world ending, or anything terrible like that. Just change, ya know? I feel it at this time of year more than any other. It makes me think. And I think enough as it is. In 2009 I will have to set about feeling more, and maybe thinking less. Heh. Oh, and have a lot more fun.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Various and Sundry Things Part II

Ok... I Masterminded today, as I do with my Mastermind (hereto after referred to as "MM")group just about every Wednesday. (Want to start your own? A variation on the steps we use can be found here.)Today, I was inspired with a very powerful affirmation -- no wisecracks, yeah, you'll do it anyway... something like, "I will commit to my desires and take action on them." If you've got a dirty mind that's not what I mean. I've already taken action on those desires. ;-P No, I mean auditioning for a show again. Reading fiction. Staying on the computer all night if I want. Sleeping in. It really helped me to think about how goal driven I am instead of just doing things for the joy of them. (You'd think by now I'd be rich and famous if I was so goal driven, right?) Interestingly, certain things I originally did for the joy of them have now become somewhat joyless based on being goal driven about them. That is ironic. That is also painful to realize. This pissed me off. (Prepositions are good things to end sentences with. Especially if the phrase is "pissed off.")

After MM'ing, I took action on my first desire and bought a novel on which both my MM partners have heard good buzz, called, The Shack. So how much fun is a Christian novel about about a grieving father who meets God in the form of a jolly African-American woman? But my aversive to "traditional Christianity" friends recommend it. Ok. Stay tuned. Perhaps I will post a review.

I then made my way to a VERY crowded McNeil High School to enjoy a stroll down the halls picking up pens from every college recruiter this side and that of the Mason-Dixon line. While the Sexy Beast asked the hard questions like "how much is tuition" I asked, "is this gel or ballpoint?"

And here I am.

OH! D*mnit. WHAT is the deal? I was so THRILLED to purchase new bras last week. I just love this Bali brand, this Seductive Curves bra. Woo Hoo!!! IMHO, though they're quite tailored, they're super sexy on my tatas. Especially the red one. I get 'em home, and WTF? Two of the three SQUEAK. I sound like the f*cking Tin Man. "Oil me." What, I'm supposed to put WD40 on them? I Google squeaky bra and I get nothing but bloggers just like me writing about squeaky bras. No answers. No, I didn't try them on and jog around the block in them before I bought them, I've been wearing this brand for several years, and -- if you're like me and at an age when lift really counts, you know what works and you don't need to try on these things.

Imagine the sexiness of this situation. Take for instance your Sexy Beast (this has not happened to me, ok?) reaches around you in that smooth move of unhooking your bra, with one hand even. You put your arms around your Sexy Beast's neck and suddenly it sounds like you're crossing a footbridge in an Indiana Jones movie. Damn.

Oh -- to put an end to this entry I will point out that I know who gets murdered in the first episode of The L Word... lalalala....

I'm going to go read this book now... it's a desire of mine.

p.s. tickled pink Hillary has been nominated for Secretary of State...